


I now pronounce you...

by YeayOrNay



Category: NCIS
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-19
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:38:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeayOrNay/pseuds/YeayOrNay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alibi gets out of hand</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been previously posted on ncisfiction.com 19/01/2011

“That has to be the worst idea ever, Tony!”

“I know, that’s why it might just work! No one would believe we’d do something like this!”

“They’d be right.” 

Tony pretends not to listen and just keeps going. “And the best part is, no one is going to expect it to last either, not with your history.”

“Don’t really feel like getting divorced for the fourth time Tony.”

“Oh come on, you’ve managed 10 years without getting married, it’s due to happen soon anyways. Better me than some red head woman who takes half your money and causes lots of drama. I’ll even sign a prenup!”

He can’t help but smile at Tony’s eagerness. The whole idea is ludicrous. He’s seen people get outed in his line of work before and it seldom goes well. It’s not that he can’t handle some negativity, he doesn’t need people to like him, but being able to trust other agents to have their backs is imperative. And then it’s the fact that this particular lie, seems a little bit too close to the truth for his liking.

Tony’s on a roll though, and for now the entertainment factor of what he’s saying outweighs his initial reaction to have him shut up.

“And you just know that a lot of people are going to shake their heads and say: ‘I knew there was something between the two of them!’” Tony is pitching his voice to sound like an old lady .

“The way they never seem to be in a steady relationship, and all the time they’ve been spending together! And have you noticed the way they stand just a little too close to each other? ”

The last part worries him, he knows that he sometimes does stand way too close to Tony. He can do it without rousing suspicion because he masks it as sneaking up on him, a game he has enjoyed since he first met him. 

“We could pull a total ‘I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry! Well, minus the legal problems”


	2. Chapter 2

The worst part is he can’t even say he didn’t see it coming. He’d flat out refused, but then Tony had just continued talking, and he’d been too amused to stop him. At one point what he was saying suddenly started to make a lot of sense. 

It had been so easy, they’d applied for a wedding license Tony for the first time, he for the fifth. There was a three day waiting period until the license was issued. Any one of those days should have been enough for him to reconsider, unfortunately they’d gotten a case in the middle of it and it had been the last thing on his mind. His personal life usually is.

By the time the case was over, they had run out of time to arrange for an alibi and Tony’s idiotic idea made a lot more sense. They had brought their receipt and picked up their Marriage license, there would be no wedding ceremony. There are limits to how far Gibbs wants to go to cover his ass.

***

He was always good at misdirections, and he will not shy away from telling a straight out lie either, so he isn’t too worried. The room he’s in looks alot like the one he spends so much time, in only slightly more worn. He’s sitting on a wobbly chair next to a table. On the opposite side an old cop is staring at him, trying his best to intimidate him.

“So it’s your testimony that you couldn’t have broken in to Christofferson’s house last Tuesday because you were at your house getting engaged?”

“Yes”

He doesn't see any reason to embellish, all they need is enough reasonable doubt that the police won’t bother pressing charges.

***

When he’d brought DiNozzo along with him to conduct a less than legal razzia of congressman Christofferson’s home they had protected themselves and left a minimum of evidence. Even better, they had both been in the house previously so proving they had been there illegally would be tough, hopefully impossible.

They’d almost been caught on their way out of the house and knew it was only a matter of time before they’d be questioned. Christofferson wasn’t the kind of man who let things like that slide.

It was the alibi that had been the problem. They had decided immediately that it would be best to stick to the truth as much as possible, consequently they were each other’s alibi's. Of course that wasn’t air tight as they would be suspected of breaking in together.

Tony’s mind had immediate gone to the gutter as he bemoaned the fact that Gibbs was a guy and they couldn’t claim they were having an illicit affair superior and subordinate.

Gibbs had pointed out that claiming they were having a same sex illicit affair as superior and subordinate would probably be an even better distraction from the soon to be pressed charges. He’d intended it as a joke but Tony had caught on the idea and refused to let go.

“That’s a fantastic idea! It’s so stupid people would think it was the truth!”

“And no one would expect a guy like you to pretend to be gay! That’s the best idea ever!”

“No it isn’t.” Sometimes the simplest statements get through to Tony, not this time.

“Of course we can’t count on that being enough, we really need to go on the offensive here. Like we are secretly engaged or something, but that would require rings if it had been going on for long.”

Gibbs can only watch as he listens to the words leaving Tony’s mouth.

“The easiest thing to do would be to simply get married, we could say we got engaged Tuesday night and stayed in bed having sex. No cop is ever going to ask follow-up questions to that!”

***

“Don’t see any rings.” He can tell the cop is looking pleased with himself.

“We work together, don’t need people at the office start speculating.”

“So you are not out at the office?” The old man is looking pleased with himself for getting the term right.

“No” again nothing more than he has to.

“Can anyone at all verify that you are in a relationship?” Gibbs can tell the man is suspicious, hell, he knows he would have been.

“District of Columbia”

“What do you mean?”

“Got married earlier this week.”

The interview had ended quickly after that fact had been verified.

***

They had arrived separately at the station and immediately been herded into separate interview rooms. When he comes out he wonders if he should be a supporting husband and wait for Tony, or get back to work.

His phone makes the decision for him. McGee is calling him about a new development in their case and he’s out the door in seconds.

***

“Boss, I’ve been trying all morning but I can’t get a hold of Tony.” McGee is sounding worried.

“He went down to the local PD to answer some questions.”

“About what, he’s not in trouble is he?”

“Shouldn’t be, he’s under suspicion for breaking into the house of one of our suspects.”

McGee’s eyes are widening. No one on their team has ever shied away from some light B&E to get results.

“Don’t worry about it McGee, he was with me that evening so he couldn’t have done it, they won’t have anything on him.”

“Oh, Good.” The relief is visible in his face.


	3. Chapter 3

He’s always been good at multitasking, so while McGee is running a search for a partial license plate, he also checks his less than legal link against Washington PD.

The transcript from Tony’s interview is being typed into the system as he watches. Looks like Gibbs is right. He’s only planning to give the report a cursory look, but then the words grab his attention, and he can’t stop himself from reading on.

“Can you account for your whereabouts between 9 and 11 PM last Tuesday?”

“Of course! I remember the entire day in details!” McGee notices that the secretary has used an exclamation mark. Tony must have been laying it on thick .

“I followed Jethro home in my own car, I often do that, we don’t want our job to realise we are involved you see. It was the most romantic thing ever!”

McGees eyebrows are rising as he continues to read through.

“You know I used to swear I never wanted to get married, but when he got down on one knee in front of the fireplace I just knew this was right!”

“Mr. DiNozzo could you please get back to the topic, where were you between 9 and 11 last Tuesday?”

“DiNozzo, Gibbs-DiNozzo, DiNozzo-Gibbs.... I have no idea what to do with my last name. I’ll probably have to keep my own. I guess our team would notice if I suddenly took his name...”

“Mr. DiNozzo, are you avoiding the question?”

“Huh? No! We got to Jethro’s house at about 8, we’d been working late. Then we cooked steaks in his fireplace and he asked me to marry him!”

Tony has had a lot of crazy ideas about how to get out of sticky situations before, but this one is winning the crazy award hands down. He must know that they’ll want to verify that story.

“You’re saying you didn’t break into Christofferson's house because you were getting engaged to your boss Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs of the NCIS?” McGee can’t almost hear the disbelief in that voice. What stupid game was Tony playing? No one’s going to believe that.

“Yes, it was the best day of my life!”

“Is there anyone who can verify that the two of you are in a relationship?”

“I’m sure a lot of people are suspecting, but there is this rule about not dating co-workers in our office, so we need to keep it quiet, and also there is the whole being gay in law enforcement thing, not to mention that he’s my boss...”

“So what you’re saying is that no one can confirm your relationship?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying, you know I was worried about that for so long. I thought he just kept me around for the sex, and was really ashamed of me. But then when he brought me down to get our marriage license I knew his feelings for me were real!”

McGee suddenly realises that his jaw has dropped and that he needs to look more alert. What the hell is going on with Tony? Is he on drugs? It’s the easiest thing in the world to check if someone has got married!

He hits refresh to get the latest updates of the report. Then he sees it, right up there in the header.  
Alibi: Husband Leroy Jethro Gibbs, story checks out.

What the hell? Is this some kind of undercover assignment, or is he the target of a practical joke? The only one computer savvy enough to be able to pull off a stunt like that would be Abby...

Closing down his link to WPD, he figures he’ll need to decide whether he should confront her, or start acting like he believes Tony and Gibbs are secretly married.

****

Tony finally gets out of the interrogation room after a two hour interview. He’s been doing what he does best namely talking. The investigator who took his statement must think he’s a complete idiot after all the rambling he’s been doing. That is a good thing, if they believe him to be stupid, they won’t believe he could pull this stunt off.

He doesn’t even bother asking for Gibbs, he knows the man will have left almost an hour ago. He probably let the investigator do the talking and only answered direct questions. His suspicion is confirmed when he sees Gibbs’ car has left the parking lot.

***

Both of them are used to working under cover so when they’d picked up their marriage certificate last Saturday they had dressed up and gone out to dinner at an upscale restaurant, making sure to pay by credit card to make a money trail.

Gibbs who sometimes doesn’t appear to have any sense of personal space at all had had unexpected problems getting into character at the restaurant. He’d looked downright nervous when Tony had started playing with and stroking Gibbs’ hand on the table. His whole body language and the look in his eyes would have been a lot more appropriate if they had just started dating. When you’ve gotten married touching the other person should be second nature.

“You know Jethro, if we are going to convince people we need to look like we want to touch each other. It has to look like we normally do this.” He had congratulated himself on managing to remember to use Gibbs’ first name. 

“Don’t care if it’s all an act, not really a fan of touching in public.”

“We might need to do something about that,” Tony had said thoughtfully “We need to look like we’re familiar with each others body’s. I guess to some extent we are, but we should probably practice making out.”

Unexpectedly Gibbs hadn’t had anything to say about that. But while his performance as a ‘Newly Wedded Husband’ hadn’t gotten better, he was doing a pretty good one of ‘Dear Caught In Headlights’.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McGee isn't falling for Tony's latest prank.

When Tony finally makes his way into the office McGee knows he’s being played. Tony has a huge smile on his face, the kind that suggests he’s just successfully pranked someone. McGee decides that his best course of action is to pretend he believes in the alleged marriage and figure out a way to use it against Tony later on. It had been the best course of action when Tony had pretended to be a woman wanting to date him on the Internet. And he hopes it will prove to be successful this time too.

Now the question is how to get back at him...

***

Their investigation proves that Congressman Christofferson had nothing to do with their case. Gibbs is both annoyed and relieved by that fact. On one hand it means they broke into the house of an innocent man, on the other hand it means they can end their farce soon. Christofferson isn’t likely to be going after them if he has nothing to hide.

Things had been getting out of hand. He’s always appreciated Tony as an agent, unfortunately on a private level he also appreciate his looks. That is one of the reasons he has always pushed him harder than his other agents. He’s ever fearful that he should give Tony advantages because of his attraction.

He is under no illusions though, he knows he married Tony because he wanted to. The stunt they’d pulled was insane. He had had every chance to back out of it, to come up with something else, but he didn’t even try. Yes, there had been the case getting in the way, but he is known for his ability to juggle multiple cases at a time. If he didn’t want to be married to Tony he wouldn’t have been.

Now he has an eager Tony touching him in public and trying to talk him into a makeout session. It is hell on his self control. He’s been playing with fire. He could slap himself for not knowing better.

He likes to pretend his failed marriages doesn’t face him, but they do. He sees every single one as a personal failure. Getting divorced for the fourth time leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He just doesn’t want to do it.

He’s desperate enough to google his options for an annulment, then it would be like it had never happened. It doesn’t seem as easy as he had hoped. Short of claiming Tony forced him to marry him he can’t find a way to get out of it.

After some thought he decides that he’ll leave the matter alone. There just isn’t any way in hell Gibbs will ever get married again, so his civil status is irrelevant. If DiNozzo suddenly decides he wants to get married again, he can be the one to file for divorce.

He can’t help but hope he doesn’t.

****

When Tony leaves his desk McGee decides to strike. He’s been wondering how to get back at Tony and decided that going through his drawers might be a good idea. Apparently Tony has anticipated that, because he has gone so far as to leave a fake marriage certificate in his desk drawer. 

Well, McGee isn’t about to fall for that. It does give him an idea though. He grabs the document, takes it to the scanner and makes a digital copy. Hacking into Tony’s E-mail account and sending the document to HR with a request to please update his file is simply too easy.

The joke’s gonna be on Tony when HR contacts Gibbs. He almost feels sorry for Tony, but if there is one thing he’s learned about Tony it is, if you don’t retaliate he will push you until you do. It is with a clean conscience he presses the send button.

He should really try to come up with some kind of payback for Abby as well...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HR just can't keep their mouth shut

They are usually good at keeping their feelings hidden. Today however it just isn’t working. A tiny man in a suit and a briefcase had come strolling into the bullpen demanding to have a private conversation with “Mr Gibbs and Mr DiNozzo”.

Gibbs had immediately recognized the man as a lawyer, he had that quality about him. What he’d said when they brought him to a conference room however had made both their jaws drop.

“My client is massively upset about the break-in and wishes to make it clear to you that should he encounter any evidence to suggest your alibi was made up for the occasion he will take both of you to court!”

The small man in the pin striped suit seems to be enjoying himself. His voice is level but there is sheer glee in his eyes.

“My client is deeply troubled by the breach of his private life and the complete disregard for proper law enforcement procedures such an act would indicate. I can assure you he will set of resources to check up on you.”

The meeting is over as suddenly as it had started. Mr. Pin Stripes picks his briefcase back up again and heads for the conference room door.

“Nice to meet you gentlemen, and I guess I should say: congratulations” the last part is dripping of sarcasm.

As they watch the small form retreat Gibbs mutters. ” I guess Christofferson took it a bit more personal than we expected.”

“That’s an understatement.”

****

“Agent Gibbs, Agent DiNozzo. My office. now!”  
Vance’s voice is carried all over the office, you don’t have to be a profiler to understand he’s angry.

Tony can’t think of anything wrong he has done, so it’s most likely a case gone wrong. He’s feeling relaxed as he enters Vance’s office. Gibbs doesn’t look worried either so he is completely at peace with the world when Vance starts talking.

“I just received a phone call from HR.”

As he takes a dramatic pause for effect Tony realises that Vance’s desk is full of broken tooth picks.

“Does any of you have anything you want to tell me?”

Tony tries to consider if he’s done anything to upset the women in HR again. He hasn’t talked to them in months. He certainly hasn’t dated any of them. He looks over to Gibbs, but that doesn’t give him anything. Gibbs’ face is doing a pretty good impression of a statue.

He starts staring to see if he can catch him blink.

“I asked you a question!” Vance’s angry voice is pulling Tony out of his trance.

“No, not that I know about director.” he decides right now might not be the best time to be cheeky.

“Nothing at all? Nothing like a change in civil status? Like a marriage?”

Tony can feel the color draining right out of his face. God damn lawyer! He must have decided to make life difficult for them. Either they admit their marriage is a fraud, or they get sued by an angry congressman.

Gibbs is the first to gather his composure. Tony has never been so happy to hear his voice before.

“Oh that. It happened kind of quickly so we hadn’t gotten around to telling you.”

“You didn’t get around to it? You are in direct violation with our policy! You don’t get to date your team members, what the hell makes you think you can marry them?”

Tony is happy to leave it to Gibbs to explain the mess they’ve landed themselves in. He’ll know just how much to reveal to Vance.

“It didn’t seem right hiding it anymore.”

Suddenly Tony isn’t as sure having Gibbs speak is the smartest thing to do, unfortunately he’s too shocked to break in.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vance gets involved

Thinking on his feet has always been one of his best qualities. Unfortunately following Gibbs’ lead became second nature to him years ago. When he had finally regained his voice he had automatically supported Gibbs, explaining that they had in fact been an “on and off” item for the last three years.

It had all ended with Gibbs’ staying in Vance’s office while Tony had been dismissed. Not knowing what is happening behind those closed doors is eating at him. He should be working on their current case, but right now it just isn’t happening.

“So what did you do?”

When did the probie start getting this stealthy? Tony looks up trying as hard as he can not to show how startled he is that McGee has somehow managed to sneak up on him.

“What you talking about McNosy?”

“Vance was yelling when he ordered you to his office, then you came out looking like a ghost.”

Coming up with a good story just isn’t happening right now, so he opts for the truth.

“Apparently HR had some complaints about my paperwork. ”

McGee is giving him a funny look.

“Uh, and they bypassed Gibbs and went straight to Vance? That’s um unexpected.”

McGee is acting strangely, and even in Tony’s shocked state it registers.

“Did that bother you in some way?” He pays extra attention to McGee’s face, he seems nervous.

“No, I mean yes, I forgot to file my address change when I switched apartments. I should go do that.”

Normally he would have jumped at the chance to rile McGee up, but right now he’s to preoccupied.

\---

He’d like to say he had no idea what came into him. But that just wouldn’t be the truth would it. Somehow instead of trying to win Vance over by confessing to their predicament, he has cemented the story about their longtime secret affair.

Vance had been livid when they had entered his office. He had calmed down though during the talk, and then with a very determined look on his face asked Tony to leave.

“Seriously Gibbs, I know you like getting married, but marrying your subordinate, and even worse your male subordinate is a career killer! I can stall the information for a few weeks, but you need to get yourselves unmarried.”

“Can’t do that director, DiNozzo and myself are committed.”

“I’d like to commit the both of you. Fine, but I’m warning you, one of you will have to leave the team. You know the rules.”

He does know the rules, which is one of the reasons they had intended to keep the marriage secret. Luckily he hasn’t lost his ability to think on his feet, and decides to play to Vance’s fondness of schemes.

“Yeah, but enough about that, there is another issue that is kind of related”

“What?!? Are you adopting?” There is a vain in Vance’s forehead that is looking dangerously close to exploding.

“There was a lawyer in earlier. For some reason he believes that our marriage is a fraud to create an alibi for DiNozzo and myself.”

“There are suspicions that you got married to get _out_ of trouble?” The toothpick that’s been dancing around Vance’s mouth is suddenly still, like the rest of his face.

“Yes, during our last investigation we interviewed a Congressman Christofferson, for some reason he believes we broke into his house later on that evening. Local police had us in for questioning, but obviously we hadn’t done it since we were busy getting engaged.”

Gibbs’ mouth almost hurts from saying that many words.

Vance is looking visibly calmer.

“So this is a ruse to get local LEO’s of your back?”

“The marriage is authentic, should it turn out not to be; Christofferson has threatened to sue us, I’ve noticed people following us, so I’m thinking he’s not bluffing”

“Of all the stupid-” Vance interrupts himself.  
“Fine, lets run it like an undercover operation, you do whatever you can to convince the world you are really an item. Have lunch together, move in together, go on romantic weekend trips with each other and do it on your own free time. This is the stupidest cover up I’ve ever heard of! You’ll do it on your own dime!”

****

When Gibbs comes down from Vance’s offices there is a slight grin on his face. As he walks past Tony’s desk, he mutters

“After work you need to go over to your apartment and pack enough things for your to stay at my place for a week. I’ll have dinner ready at eight.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony learns something new about Gibbs.

His feet are cold. The duvet isn’t long enough to cover his feet as well as his head. For now covering his ears is more important than his freezing feet. He’s come across Gibbs sleeping many times but usually sitting up. On his back the situation is different.

Gibbs snores.

And even worse it is irregular. There will be long pauses of silence when Tony believes that there is finally an end to the noise, then it will start back up again, with a sound that shouldn’t be humanly possible.

The situation is surreal.

When Tony had come over that evening with three duffel bags, Gibbs had just looked at him.

“I said for a week Tony, I didn’t ask you to move in with me.”

“I have no idea what will happen the next week, I need to be ready. Are you gonna fill me in on what’s happening?”

“Yeah, I’ll explain over dinner.”

As it had turned out what Gibbs had meant by having dinner ready was calling out for dinner. The Chinese delivery guy arrived just a few minutes after Tony.

Gibbs had managed to make a strong case for why they had to keep up the marriage. He’d taken care of Vance’s threats to reassign one of them. In fact they have to step up their game as Vance really doesn’t want the congressman as an enemy.

The next stage of the plan would involve convincing their team that they were actually a couple. The hadn’t concluded on whether they should let the team ‘accidentally’ find out, or if they should make an announcement. Tony always ready for an undercover job wants to let the team discover it themselves. That would seem more credible than an announcement the day after the lawyer had been by.

Gibbs isn’t so sure. He claims that being accidentally discovered is often more difficult than you’d think and is likely to take a lot of work. Tony thinks he can win him over though.

They are both a little stumped on how Christofferson’s team had managed to alert HR. Which is the reason Tony is wide awake at three o’clock at night. If they can infiltrate HR then they really need to step up their cover.

Gibbs had gone so far as to make place for Tony’s clothes, well some of them, in his wardrobe. He had also explained why it was crucial that they share a bed. A few hours ago he hadn’t minded that.

He tries to concentrate on his breathing, but the inhuman sounds keeps dragging him out of his concentration. He tries to focus on the way the mattress feels against his body, but that only makes him aware how the mattress is only slightly softer than the wooden floor.

Then suddenly the sound stops. He keeps waiting for Gibbs to draw his breath again, but he doesn’t. Tony sits up in bed. He really doesn’t want to become a widower. He can’t see any signs of Gibbs breathing.

To check he holds his hand over his mouth hoping to feel the breath against it -. And is tackled by a half asleep Gibbs defending his life against whoever is trying to suffocate him.

“Gah!” Tony protests.

“Tony! what the fuck are you playing at?” Gibbs is sounding angry having been scared out of his sleep.

“Gah!” is all Tony can answer, Gibbs has an arm around his neck making breathing difficult.

Gibbs seems to be realising the situation and slowly lets go of Tony allowing him to breath again.

“You snore!” Tony accuses.

He can’t see Gibbs’ facial expression as Gibbs is on top of him, pinning him stomach down to the mattress.

“Then you should try rolling me over on my stomach instead of choking me.” Gibbs explains matter of factly as he moves off of Tony’s back.

“I wasn’t trying to choke you!” Tony tries to explain to the shadow of Gibbs’ form lying a few inches away from him. His only answer is another snore.

Tony doesn’t dare touching him to turn him over.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after and a cunning plan is hatched

“You need to get your ass out of bed” Are the words that awakens him. Which means he did fall asleep sometime during the night. Last he remembers the green numbers had shown 03:30. Now they are showing 06:15. Two hours and three quarters sleep at most.

“Gah” are the only words he can find to show his displeasure.

“You have 15 minutes to shave and shower. I’ll fix breakfast and we’ll be on the road in 30 minutes otherwise we’ll hit traffic.”

The bathroom is still damp after Gibbs’ shower. He scrubs himself down as fast as he can, and shaves while in the shower. This whole marriage to Gibbs might not be such a great idea after all. Gibbs is apparently just as bossy at home as he is at work.

It had been his idea from the start. It had been a stupid idea, he knew that even before Gibbs had told him. But he hadn’t been able to let it go, after he had said the words out loud, he knew that he wanted to be married to Gibbs. It didn’t matter if Gibbs thought it was a pro forma marriage. The idea that they belonged together just rang true.

And he can’t help but have a hope that all the pretending might push Gibbs into seeing him in a different light. He’s been using every opportunity to make them act like a couple lately. There was something at the restaurant the other day. Gibbs is a master at undercover work, it’s not like him to not be able to pull off ‘Married couple in a restaurant’, either he knows what Tony is up to and is uncomfortable because of it, or his plan is working and that’s what’s making Gibbs nervous.

He doesn’t want to be too optimistic, but knowing Gibbs, if he thought Tony was taking advantage of the situation he would have simply told Tony to stop groping him.

He manages to get downstairs in time to pour out the tar posing as coffee that Gibbs has put in his coffee cup in the sink. He has to take his sandwich to go. Gibbs is scowling at him for not being down in time.

“Should we take separate cars to avoid suspicion?”

“We want suspicion. You ride with me DiNozzo”

“Right. You know technically you’re not my boss until we enter the office.”

Gibbs just stares at him.

“Just sayin Boss.”

As soon as he sits down in the passenger seat he falls asleep. Not even Gibbs’ reckless driving manages to rouse him. It does however manage to knock his sandwich out of his sleeping hands. When he arrives at the NCIS parking garage he has a mayonnaise stain on his shirt.

****

The trip up the elevator is slow.

“So we need to make McGee and Ziva believe there is something between us. When we finally break down and admits to it, we explain how Vance can’t know anything because then he’ll reassign one of us.” Tony says it out loud to make sure he gets everything right.

This is starting to get complicated, so he quickly summarizes in his head:  
Ziva and McGee doesn’t know they are married, they need to know. The have to con them into thinking that this is a conventional marriage, and not simply one of convenience.

Vance knows they are really married, and knows it is a marriage of convenience. Now if only Tony can find a way to make what he’s telling Ziva and McGee the truth, and what they are telling Vance the lie...

“How are you planning to demonstrate your love for me? I’m hoping you have some subtlety and won't send me 12 long stemmed roses with a huge card saying ‘hugs and kisses Tony’ “

“I thought I would simply grope you when I ‘think’ no one will see it.”

“That could be effective, we should stand a little bit to close as well.”

“We always stand a little bit too close, Gibbs, you don’t have any personal space.” It’s one of the way he intimidates people, by standing just a little too close. Either face to face, or Gibbs’ favourite right behind peoples backs.

“My wives used to fix my appearance in public, I hated that.”

Tony’s about to agree with that when he suddenly remembers all the times he’s brushed lint off of Gibbs’ jacket while having nothing better to do.  
“You know, I think I do that with you too.”

“Yeah, you do... So do I. Even with Ducky. huh, I should stop straightening his bow-tie or you might be jealous.”

“If I find you cheating on me with Ducky, I’ll be pissed.” He starts out saying it in jest, but halfway through, he realizes that he means it. Gibbs really does straighten Ducky’s bow-tie a lot.


	9. Chapter 9

Being found out isn’t as easy as you might think. You have to look like you don’t know anyone else is watching and then you have to do something while that other one actually is watching. It is a real blow to Tony’s self esteem that his team mates doesn’t seem to pay attention to everything he does.

When he’d squeezed Gibbs’ ass in the garage for the benefit of Ziva, she was too busy examining a dent in the hood to notice.

When Gibbs had absentmindedly stroked Tony’s hair instead of giving him a head slap, McGee was too busy with an app on his cell phone to even look up.

When Tony had given Gibbs a hug outside Abby’s lab, Abby thought that was the most natural thing in the world and made it a group hug.

“I can’t decide if the two of us are really bad at undercover work or if the team just isn’t as perceptive as we thought.”

They are in the elevator on their way up from Abby’s lab and Tony is starting to get frustrated.

“I think we need to be more obvious.”

“We want the team to know, not the whole office! We’re supposed to pretend Vance doesn’t know. If Vance officially knows it will look strange if he doesn’t reassign one of us.”

“OK, so we will do something outside the office, but something more than a quick pat on the head. We should make out or something, heavily, with unbuttoned and untucked shirts.”

“I don’t have any buttons, you’ll have to improvise.” It’s true, Gibbs is wearing one of his polo shirts over a T-shirt. He already looks a bit ruffled. There isn’t enough hair on his head to make bed hair either.

With a grin he presses the stop button and the elevator halts.

“I’m the king of improv! Stand still for a bit.” he says before leaning over. He could almost swear that Gibbs’ eyes are growing larger as he leans in and kisses his neck. Well, he’s really not kissing as much as he is sucking Gibbs’ neck for all that he’s worth.

There is a sound that might have been a protest, had it been anyone else than Gibbs making it. Had Gibbs been protesting, Tony would be hurting right now so he just keeps going. He does a thorough job, who knows if he’ll ever get a chance to do something like this again. When he can’t pretend there is a need for him to go on anymore he reluctantly leans back.

Gibbs is holding a grip on his shirt in his fist. Is that a good or a bad sign he wonders as he start looking at his work. Oh SHIT!

“Ummm OK, I might have gone a bit over the top on this one.”

“Tony...” There is a threat behind that word.

“Sorry Boss, I haven’t made a hickey on someone since I was a teenager. I forgot about keeping it low enough that you can hide it under a collar.We could get you a scarf...”

The head slap is no surprise.

Neither is the fact that Gibbs starts the elevator again, and then marches directly to the Men’s room to assess the damage. Tony doesn’t dare to follow.

“Puffy lips, untucked shirt, and messy hair... Gibbs know that you are meeting up with your girlfriend on the clock?” Ziva has a predatory look in her eyes.

Great, NOW they’re paying attention.

“Gibbs always knows everything Ziva. ” Tony says while tucking in his shirt. He then heads directly to the bathroom to see if what she says about his hair is true.

***

In the bathroom he finds Gibbs staring at his neck in the mirror. When Tony comes in he looks at him instead.

“So that mouth of yours isn’t just good for talking.”

“Uh, I think I got a little carried away there Boss.”

“I can see that, now would you like to show me what else that mouth is good for?” His voice is flirty in a way it has never been with Tony.

OH THANK GOD! Is the only thing that goes through his mind as he takes the last few steps over to Gibbs and locks his mouth onto his.

It is sloppy and urgent and desperate. It is also the best feeling he’s had since ever. It has taken him ten years to get here. The contact with his mouth just isn’t enough. Gibbs’ shirt isn’t tucked in and he lets his hand wander up under it. How can a man his age keep such a firm body?

He vaguely realises that someone might walk in on them and manages to push them both into a stall.

Then he proceeds to pull off both Gibbs’ polo and t-shirt in one go before he goes back to assaulting his lips.

 

Suddenly he’s startled by the sound of someone opening a stall door and walking out of the men’s room with firm steps. When the door opens he hears Ziva:

“Hey McGee, Tony’s got a new girlfriend!”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where McGee doesn't wash his hands

He slipped into the bathroom five steps behind McGee. But McGee must have been in a real hurry because he was already in a stall when Gibbs entered. Which was a good thing. He wanted a good look at what damage Tony had done to his neck. He didn’t need McGee seeing it before Gibbs had decided on a story. Preferably a bad one, so McGee would suspect something was up.

“Shit” Tony had been right, there really wasn’t any way to hide that. He’d have to wear a scarf, a band aid, or a brace collar for people not to notice. And while they did want people to notice, this was more than a little over the top.

What the hell had Tony been thinking? What the hell had he been thinking! He had known that Tony was doing a way to thorough job on his neck and he knew what the results would be. Problem was it had just felt so damn good.

He had been struggling against himself trying not to pull Tony up against him in the elevator. The whole marriage to Tony really was playing with fire. He could still remember waking up the night before with Tony pinned under him. Sure he had had him his arm around his neck, attempting to strangle him, so it wasn’t really a romantic situation, but he’d had to get himself away from the situation and fast.

He’s still staring a hickey the size of Texas when Tony walks in the door. They’ve been trying to get an audience all day. Now they have McGee captive in a bathroom stall.

“So that mouth of yours isn’t just good for talking.” He says as suggestively as he can. He hopes Tony gets the idea.

“Uh, I think I got a little carried away there Boss.” Nope he’ll have to bring stronger ammunition to clue him in. To Gibbs it sounds like a line out of a porno when when he asks:

“I can see that, now would you like to show me what else that mouth is good for?”

He really hadn’t anticipated Tony’s reaction. There had been a look of sheer relief then Tony had been all over him.

He stops worrying about that though, because Tony is good at what he’s doing. In no time he has Tony’s shirt out of his pants and gives himself access to the skin beneath it. He almost forgets where he is, luckily Tony has more presence of mind and guides them into a bathroom stall where he proceeds to pull of half of Gibbs clothes. And having Tony’s hands all over him like that is all he’s ever wanted. And he needs -

Suddenly there is the sound of a stall door opening and McGee’s footsteps walking swiftly out of the bathroom. SHIT, he’d forgotten about McGee.

Sure he had planned on McGee overhearing them, but just a quick kiss. Tony had surprised him and completely sidetracked him.

“He didn’t wash his hands.” is Tony’s only comment before he leans back in to continue the kiss.

 

***


	11. Epilogue

Standing up on the NCIS balcony and looking down on the bullpen Vance can come up with a long list of things he doesn’t like about Gibbs and DiNozzo. Still he has to admire their commitment to their work. Six months has passed and Tony has let his lease expire and moved in with Gibbs permanently. They have even managed to convince the team that they are really an item.

Of course it does serve them well for having the bad judgement of breaking the law and break into a congressman’s house. He would have thought he would have bored with watching his two agents by now, and had said as much to Gibbs, but apparently both Gibbs and DiNozzo had spotted people keeping them under surveillance. He can’t help but gloat at their predicament. Neither of them can date anymore, he doesn’t think Gibbs minds, but it must be hell on DiNozzo.

Gibbs and DiNozzo aren’t the only one on the team that are acting strange. McGee had sent in a request to HR regarding his transvestite personality a few months back. When Vance had confronted him about it he had apparently lost his nerve, because he had claimed he knew nothing about the request for Tamara McGee to be recognized as an individual with her own security badge at NCIS. He had even blamed Tony.

Vance had to admit that he had made an effort to uncover whether this was in fact one of the infamous DiNozzo pranks. All evidence had pointed to McGee’s E-mail address and closer inspection of the security photograph he had attached showed that this was not a manipulation done in photoshop. He hadn’t really expected that either as McGee had claimed it had been taken at a Halloween party a few years back.

He pretended he believed the ‘Tony did it’ defence in order to let McGee save face. Obviously he knew better. The whole team was a bunch of weirdos, he’d replace them all if it hadn’t been for the results they made.

And the dedication.

Even half a year later Gibbs is standing way to close to DiNozzo making everyone suspect there is something there.

They are definitely dedicated.


End file.
